Baby Blog

In the last few weeks, baby Nik has started developing a very apparent defiant streak. It’s usually connected to not being allowed to do something (you know eat a camera battery) or being told its time to go (like when they want to close the library) so, despite the fact that two seems so very far away right now, it seemed time to start researching how to deal with my one year old’s temper tantrums.

It seems the tantrum stems form the fact that babies and toddler shave developed physical skills long before they properly develop verbal ones.  When a baby cannot tell you he doesn’t feel like leaving and he doesn’t understand why he can’t eat batteries, he demonstrates his intense frustration at you and the situation by having a baby break down.

Tantrums take on many forms and I have observed other children’s tantrum’s in the grocery store. They usually involved kicking screaming, tears, yelling, stomping feet and all out breakdowns like lying on the floor and flipping out. Thankfully Nik’s are not that bad yet. My baby’s tantrums consist of him whining and crying and holding on with all his strength to the object he desires but is not allowed.

So what to do?

You have to realize that tantrums can either be caused by frustration or be an attempt to manipulate the parent into giving in. The key is not to give in. Walk away from the manipulative tantrum, ignore it and pretend its not happening.  Do not respond to the beginning, screaming or pleading. If the child is physically violent during the tantrum, they should have a time out.

But when it comes to the frustration triggered tantrum, like when your baby isn’t one playing but its time to go home, they don’t deserve to be disciplined. They just don’t understand and are upset. Your job here is to reassure and comfort. I try to distract (not bribe) from the situation by changing the subject, circumstance or setting.

The experts recommend discovering the cause of the tantrum and learning the signs that your child is about to throw a tantrum. This helps you prepare and even divert when possible. They also say not to take it personally. A very young child simply doesn’t know another way to communicate yet and tantrums a re a part of normal development.

Most importantly, stay calm when your infant or toddler acts out. Do not react to triggers, offer comfort when possible and diffuse the situation as quickly as you can. Yelling at a child, especially a baby, is not appropriate. It will pass. Yes, it can be embarrassing but every mother and parent watching you has been through it too so don’t feel bad.

When it comes to infant tantrums, there is only so much you can do about it. Just remember calm and comforting when its frustration and ignoring when it’s manipulative.

That should get us through until the terrible twos. Right?