Baby Blog

My best friend is getting married. I live in windy Wyoming. She lives in sunny California. I am leaving my little boy with his dad for four days as I join my favorite gal pal to see her safely through the rites of marriage. But what about me? How will I get through the rites of leaving my baby for the first time?

They say when you leave your baby for the first time it should be an overnight trip to lessen the anxiety for both of you. Well, I couldn’t bear to leave my son until I had no choice. I will be leaving on Thursday morning and coming back on the Monday night.  It’s not the ideal amount of time to leave him for but there really is no choice.

I’m leaving baby Nik with his father so it’s not as bad as leaving him with distant relatives or a babysitter right? I hear the guilt in my words as I type and try to justify my decision. All the moms I know say the guilt is normal but it shouldn’t stop me from going. I deserve a break. I have spent every available hour waking and sleeping with my son since his conception some time back in June of 2008. I have breast fed for 13 months. I deserve a break.

Aaah the guilt. So what other tips do the experts have?

They agree that moms deserve a break so that’s good; it doesn’t stop the guilt but makes me realize I’m not alone in feeling it. The parenting experts suggest choosing a relaxing place to vacation if you must go. Well, sunny California, good friends and a great occasion? As well as a baby free house (sorry honey!) and a full nights sleep? Yes I’m feeling better just thinking about it.

I need to make sure before I leave I give my husband details of Nik’s schedule and preferences. Sure it’s his son but he works out of the house and so misses a large chunk of Nik’s day. I’m on the brink of making lists and charts for each room’s activities and schedule and pinning them around the house on my way out the door. Of course, I’ve been talking to my husband about what to do when I’m away since I booked my non refundable ticket but having it in writing will make me feel better and my husband feel secretly more confident.

Like the parenting blogs and websites suggest, I will be checking in regularly and available 24/7 for questions. It may not sound like much a break to some but it is. I think if I didn’t check in I would worry. If my husband didn’t call me with a hundred questions I would think he wasn’t even trying to keep to the schedule and then I would worry even more.

Ho hum, as I get excited about spending some time shopping, sightseeing and giggling with an old dear friend I also grow more anxious about being away from my baby. I know being apart is a natural part of the parenting process it’s just turning out to be harder than I thought. It’s like leaving makes me realize just how strong and deep my love for my child is.

Well duh….right?