Baby Blog

I just visited one of my favorite online mommy groups and was stunned at the amount of mothers having trouble with their babies sleeping. They all tried the cry it out method to no avail. Well of course not people. It doesn’t work. Here are my thoughts on this method and I hope some of you agree with me.

First of all, I’m pretty sure Dr. Spock is dead and despite resurgence in mid century furniture styles this is not the 1950s. Just because advice has been around for a long time doesn’t mean it works or that it is right.

Yes we tried this heart wrenching, soul destroying method with our baby boy. Of course after both mommy and baby crying them selves to sleep through sheer exhaustion I guess you could say it worked. But if convincing your child they are not worthy of your attention or love and letting them scream the place down until they abandon all hope and give up on you is said to be working then well…

Despite the belief in self comfort when crying, a lot of children do not do this. My son has never been a self soother. He doesn’t rock himself or suck his thumb, he cries and cries and cries until mommy comes back. It’s how he’s built and forcing him to endure the cry it out method is, in my humble opinion, child abuse.

There I said it. Letting your child scream at the top of their lungs for five hours (as I just read on a blog) is child abuse and neglect.

The absolute crying limit in my house is twenty minutes and that’s only when daddy is home. When my son wakes up in the night, I go in and reassure him that I love him, that its bed time, that he is safe and he should go back to sleep. And guess what? He goes back to sleep. If on the other hand I let him cry and cry and then go in he is a blubbering mess, hyperventilating and unable to sleep because he is totally worked up.

Look it’s not just me. Many a baby expert will tell you that crying it out is plain old mean and not suitable for the majority of children. If you want your child to see you as a source of safety, reassurance and comfort letting them scream the place down while you listen behind a closed door is not going to make that happen. Forget the old school advice and rely on logic. A comforted child is more likely to sleep than a distressed child.

Alright I’m climbing off the soapbox. Let me just end by saying a parenting method that breaks both mommy’s heart and baby’s spirit belongs in the dark ages.  Childhood isn’t supposed to hurt.

Well my son’s crying and I’m off to check on him. You see parenting doesn’t stop when it gets dark.

But that’s just one mommy’s opinion.